Scars

Even after a year, it still hurt. She kept telling him that it isn't his fault but for damn sakes, he is their Captain! He was suppose to guild them and help them...but he couldn't help her. Ever since the end of the fourth Guardian War, Nick's mood had changed to a more monotonous one. He even stopped his drinking battles with Gavin. Nick spent most of his time locked away in his office doing paperwork that needed to be refilled in.

The Bandsworth Prison Fort had been destroyed during the war but it had been finally rebuilt a couple of months ago. The Fort was slightly larger but besides that, everything was the same. The training grounds and the infirmary grew in size so that there was more room. Luckily the Guardians did most of the work because if the Council did it all, he would owe them a hell of a lot more then what he already does.

The depressing weather wasn't helping Nick's mood at all, the bottle of rum next to him was half gone already. A hand was in his thick blond hair and his eye patch was off. He hated having to wear that thing. He scanned the daily report for anything that might show what Lasser is doing but no luck, it only frusterated him even more. Nick took a drink from the bottle, feeling it burn all the way down. A knock sounded and he looked up, "I am busy, now is not the time." Nick said as if he was sober.

It had been a year, once year since Fox had lost her right arm in the battle. It didn't bother her to much at this point, but she hadn't expected Nick to react as badly as he had. Today she was going to set things straight, she hated how he had been acting since then and she wanted the old Nick back.

When he told her to go away she flat out ignored him and slammed the door open. She could tell right away that he was anything but sober and it pissed her off. The woman stomped over to the desk and ripped the bottle out of his hands and proceeded to chug it before glaring at him. "I've been nice all year while you acted like this Nick but enough is enough."

Nick didn't react at all to her coming in and taking him rum, nor her yelling at him. He just stared at her for a moment, a long moment. remembering the times before the war even started. He always liked Fox in fatherly way, much like his feelings toward Baina, he guessed that was why it hurt so much. He couldn't stand this kind of pain, it never mended.

Nick got up and walked over, not looking at Fox. He didn't even bother to grab his coat or eye patch. he just needed to walk, thats all. But it still hurt to look at her, that pain still remained. Nick knew she would try and stop him from walking away from her, it didn't matter to him since he could easily over power her, even if he was a little tipsy.

Fox was practically fuming at his lack of a response. But what hurt her most was seeing the pained look in his eyes whenever he looked at her. "Damn it Nick!" she shouted, throwing the bottle to the ground making it shatter. She grabbed his arm, trying to force him to look at her. "This is bloody ridiculous! This is not the Captain of Brandsworth Prison Fort! Snap out of this little pity party you're having before i make you snap out of it!" she ordered, a fiery look in her eyes.

Nick stopped when she grabbed a hold of him, he saw the hurt in her eyes for him. Nick's face was passive since, as both an older generation of a Guardian and a captain of the prison, he was taught how to hide his emotions but he never really tried to do so before. It was unnecassary but now....

He made her let go of him though made sure not to hurt her but didn't let go of her hand as he looked at her, "I am just going for a walk...I will be back...." He told her in his dead tone though there was that fatherly tone mixed in there, "I..." He couldn't say he promised...he didn't keep it before to her. He looked away before turning around and walking down the hall.

She was silent for a moment and let him walk out but her anger and hurt came back full force and she walked out into the hall and watch as he walked before shouting at him. "No, what you're doing is running away! I didn't know the Captain I admired was such a coward!" she shouted. "Come and talk to me when you grow a pair and stop living in the past." at this she turned around and stormed off to go wander around the prison.

He waited till she was out of sight and far away before he stopped and looked down. Out of anger he punched the wall, denting the stone as crackles were made, "But I broke my promise to keep you safe..." He said in pain, "I couldn't protect you...like I was suppose to...." He growled as a dark aura started to seep from him. It was always a bad idea for him to become emotional since his demon eye reacted to it. When Fox lost her arm, he lost himself in its power, "And I...I almost...." He clenched his bleeding fist, "I am not trying to run away...I want to resolve...but I can't...." The aura grew more intense the angrier he got, "I am so sorry..."

When Fox got far enough away she stopped and sighed, running her actual hand through her hair. "Damn it Nick." She stared at her right arm before reaching up and pulling the clasps off at her shoulder letting the wooden limb fall to the ground leaving her with her nub of an arm. She rubbed the nub before picking up her wooden arm from the ground, slinging it over her shoulder and turning in the direction she had come form to go back to her room. she needed a break after exploding on him like that.

Nick closed his eyes, he just needed more time. Then he could make everything right again. Nick walked outside, it was still depressing weather but it was night time. He walked over to the training grounds, he needed to release the energy that he built up. After getting to the grounds, he took his shirt off so that it wouldn't get wrecked (he is low on clothes...) before channeling his energy, growling. Nick usually never trains unless something is bothering him, it was his form of therepy.

Fox slammed the door to her room open and walked over to the box that she usually left her arm in when she slept. She stayed silent and stared at the box. None of this would have happened if she hadn't been as careless as she had been, it was her own fault that her arm was lost and she wished she could make Nick see that. She hated that he felt guilty because of something she did. With a sigh she left the room to go train, she had been training with one arm lately so that just in case her arm was rendered useless while she was in battle she would still be able to fight.

When she neared the training room she felt a familiar energy and knew exactly who was in there. She sighed an quietly entered the room, fulling planning on ignoring him.........at least until she blew up at him.

Nick only continued to build energy, he needed to get into his demon form. He wanted to learn to control it so that he could use it when needed. Currently, he couldn't control it but that was why he went to the training grounds, besdies he knew that no one else would want to train outside in the rain.

A sharp pain in his chest made him gasp, falling onto his knees but still kept going. Large black wings came out of his back as his skin began to darken, Nick squeezed his eyes shut. It was getting harder to breath but he was so close, just a few more moments.

Fox's eyes widened at the sight that greeted her. "Oh god." there were two possible reasons for what Nick was doing 1. she reeeeeeeally pissed him off, or 2. he was doing it of his own free will. The woman watched him with nervous eyes. She knew his demon form wasn't one to be messed with, after all she had gone up against it once and it wasn't pretty.

When Nick opened his eyes, his right eye matched his left. His transformation complete. Nick knew he only had moments before he started to lose control but luckily was outside. That was when he sensed someone else and turned to see Fox, the last person he wanted to see outside. His eyes widen, "Fox! What are you doing outside in the rain for? Get you ass back in." He growled, his eyes glowing red. This wasn't good at all, it was this form that almost killed her and now she is meeting it again? He wasn't mad at her for coming outside but he couldn't afford to have her near him at the moment.

Fox's gaze hardened. "No. I'm staying out here. Anything that happens is because of my stupidity and nothing more." she told, absentmindedly rubbing her right shoulder where her arm should have been. One way or another she was going to overcome this and no matter how scared she was of dying, she wouldn't leave now that she was here.

"Are you crazy, don't you remember the last time? I am not going to lose you!" Nick said before gasping and dropping again to his knees. He was starting to lose control, he could hear the demon laughing, "Fox, please, just go!" He struggled to say. Panic was welling up inside, he had to get a hold of this thing or he would lose Fox.

"Yes i remember and i'll be damned if i die by your hands." she shouted, even if she did die it was her choice. "Get a hold of the demon, you're stronger than it! Don't want me to die now, right?" it was tough love but if it helped him get control of his demon side, then it was a good thing. "If you let it win, then you are all the things i called you and worse. Be strong!"

Nick closed his eyes tight as the ground shook violently, the pain was intense but the pain of killing Fox would be much worse. He clenched his fists, fighting with himself in order to grab hold of the demon, he had to win this fight or he would die trying. His mind started to fog as drift, he was losing and knew it...

Little Baina looked curiously at Nick, "Why do you wear that eye patch?" said the little five year old. Nick looked to Baina who sat on his knee before sighing, "To hide my eye."
"But why?"
"It scares people."
"It doesn't scare me." Nick didn't know how to explain this to a five year old, he much rather be fighting a tree snake at the moment since he at least knew what to do then.
"It is a demon eye and when people see it, they get scared because demon's kill people." Baina blinked her large blue eyes, frowning slightly.
"But you are not a demon, you are Nick. You keep me safe and even if you turned into a demon, I would still love you." She then reached up and hugged the Prison Captain, "Cause you're my daddy!"

Baina....

"Captain Nicholas!" said a young Fox, saluting him as he walked pass her with Gavin. He looked confused, was she one of the new healers or something.
"Sorry I forgotten your name...." He mumbled, slightly emberrasted. Gavin leaned over and told him, "Her name is Fox and she is one of the new guards." Nick was wondering what all the whispers had been about lately, not once had a woman been made a guard. Nick blinked at her for a moment, studying her before grinning.
"Well, welcome to the Prison Fort, Fox. And there is no need to call me that, Nick is fine too." He told her as he held out his hand which she looked confused at, "We aren't just guards, we are family, right? We form bonds by helping each other when we are in need, thats what it means to be a Bandsworth Prison Guard." Gavin smiled and nodded which Fox smiled back and shook his hand.

Fox....


Nick growled, the wind kicked all around them, mostly centered around Nick, "I will beat this!" He shouted before shadows started to form around him, "By the Spirits I am going to win this!"

Hearing his words, a bright grin spread across her face. He was back. "Yeah Nick! Kick that demon in the nards!" she cheered pumping her fist into the air. She couldn't help but laugh happily, she was excited that the man was fighting the demon. She knew he could do it, he just needed the right motivation.

A shock wave boomed out before everything was still and quiet. It seemed like nothing moved, not even Nick. He was still on his hands and knees on the soaked ground, droplets of water ran down the smoky colored skin as it soaked his hair. His breath froze in the air, "...Fox?" He said, sounding weary.

Fox stared at him, her smile gone and was replace with worry. When he called to her, she rushed over. "You okay Nick?" she questioned as she knelt down on one knee to try and get a better look at him. From the sounds of it, he won but you could never know.

Nick smiled suddenly but his eyes were barely open, "I did it...I have control over it..." He mumbled, thunder boomed as the rain continued. He looked wearily up to Fox, his vision blurry and knew he didn't have much time before he passed out. The process of even forcing himself to become a demon drained his energy, he was going to need to work on building his energy level later on.
"Fox...I am sorry I...wasn't able to protect you..." He said before looking to the ground, he wasn't even able to stand up, his limbs shook, "I...hate seeing you...in pain...and...it tore me up...when I hurt you...." Nick clenched his fists again, gripping the wet grass, "From the moment I met you...I was always so worried for you...you are so young...and I was afraid of you loosing your life...over the war, like...my brother...thats why I want to protect you...so badly...I am sorry if I made you mad...I am sorry I hurt you...Fox...." Nick said before his limbs gave way and he fell to the ground, changing back into his human form. Everything went dark and Nick's last thoughts were, "I hope I still have that shirt...I kinda need it."

*********

A ray of sunshine fell across his middle, he heard birds and the splashes of the sea. Nick groaned as he slowly opened his eyes, his vision blurry at 1st but cleared to see the ceiling of the infirmary. Nick was a little pale and still tired. His muscles ached from exerting so much power, he winced sitting up. The white blanket fell off from his chest, he saw he had his shirt again which was good. Running a hand through his hair, Nick felt no eye patch. He looked around and saw Fox asleep sitting next to the bed, he smiled a little before a sharp pain in his chest made him suck the air in sharply as he placed a hand to his chest, feeling bandages under his shirt.

"You don't always have to do the protecting, sometimes you need protection too." Fox muttered before she hefted him up to take him to the infirmary.

***********

Fox had waited for Nick to wake up for hours and after a while she fell asleep in the chair next to the infirmary bed.

Nick moved carefully as to not wake Fox up but his body screamed in protest. Realizing his situation, Nick smiled and settled for putting a hand on top of her head. He remembered the 1st time Baina caught him in the infirmary, he had no clue the five year old could scold so well. But Baina refused to leave Nick until he was better and always crawled into his bed to snuggle up against him. She was so small that it didn't matter and Nick remembered threatening to break every bone in the guard's body who tried to take Baina up to her room.

Feeling pressure on her head Fox was stirred from her sleep. "Nick? You feeling okay?" she questioned before realizing it was a stupid question. "what am i saying, of course you don't...."

Nick winced as he chuckled, "Were you here for the whole time?...and how long was I out?" He felt hungry but wanted to make sure Fox was ok, "Are you well?" He asked, sitting up as he grunted. He had pushed his body to its limit and now he had to face the results of his stupidity, luckily Baina wasn't there to see it.